She who laughs at Glitz…

…must apologize.

I totally owe Glitz an apology. I completely doubted her description of a chiropractic adjustement. I didn’t think she was lying or anything so sinister, I just assumed (I know, I know- when will I learn about doing that?!) she somehow misunderstood. She did not.

I don’t know if it was all my obsessing or what but this morning, when my person was selecting the day’s footwear, rather than slip out the door with Glitz in tow (toe? ha ha)she pulled me out of my box instead. I would like to believe that she misses me too. Either way, I was happy to go- both being interested in whatever day she planned and in spending some much missed time with my person.

Just as I had wished for, we headed to, True North Chiropractic, where I got to “meet” this Dr. Erik. Not that we were formally introduced, and I was taken off relatively early in the session and so couldn’t even introduce myself to his shoes (dress, black, loafers). From my vantage point on the floor, I was able to watch as my person stepped up to this treatment stand of sorts…
chiropractic table
… like, face first into it. She had taken off her glasses so I wasn’t sure if maybe she hadn’t (somehow) seen it, but then he pulled some level, or pushed some button and all of a sudden, the contraption lowered itself into a table position.

From there, it just got weirder. He placed these small blocks beneath her hips at irregular heights to counteract the fact that one leg was slightly higher than the other. Something I made a note to try and discern for myself later when we were reunited. With all that went on after that, I totally forgot to do so. I hope to remember next time she wears me. The beginning seemed much like a massage, while he palpated the muscles in her shoulders. I was at the foot end and judging from her toes- it wasn’t the gentlest of touch, though she didn’t cry out or otherwise complain so it couldn’t have been too uncomfortable. After that, he would place his hands at various points of her back and after asking for a deep breath in, on the out of which he would press down what appears to be really hard, like, until we all heard an actual pop. The first time, I swear to you, I thought he’d broken her. Thankfully, I remembered giggling when Glitz had relayed to me that exact feeling (sorry about that too, girlfriend!) Once Dr. Erik finished with her back, he had her lay sideways on that odd table, explaining that he had a ‘no fall’ policy and that she would NOT be the one to break his streak. If that wasn’t precarious enough, he then manually positioned each of her limbs as well as her head into what looked to be a super uncomfortable position and he then used his body weight to do whatever it was that produced that popping sound. After this took place on both of her sides, she then lay supine on the table, while he sat in a small stool behind her, head in his hands. He again seemed to be massaging her muscles when, what seemed to me to be out of nowhere, he quickly, for lack of a better word, whipped her head to one side. Again, I was completely taken aback by what seemed like violence, but from her reaction, none, it clearly didn’t hurt, or even surprise her. From the little I know of my person, I wouldn’t say she has a particularly high tolerance of pain, or even discomfort. I was still digesting what I’d seen when he repeated the action, in the other direction.

Really, I’d guesstimate that the whole appointment lasted less than a half hour and it was the oddest thing I have ever witnessed. Odd in that they chatted about random things all the while, punctuated every so often by the doctor’s treatment-related questions or explanations. Odd in that she had very little reaction to what appeared to be painful, in fact, she expressed great satisfaction at the end of the visit. Odd in that even though she hadn’t felt any discomfort prior to her first coming to see him, she felt better somehow. She mentioned that she’d been trying to make an effort to improve her posture all weekend and that it seemed an easier goal now somehow. Maybe its because I don’t have bones. Or muscles. Or ligaments. I have a feeling that chiropractic care is a person thing and if you aren’t one, you’re not going to really understand. I guess what really matters is not that I understand, but that she does annnnd that she is getting into shape the healthiest way possible.

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